Memorial website in the memory of your loved one

This memorial website was created in the memory of our beloved 2nd son, Colin Sanders who was born in Pennsylvania on Jul 08, 2004 and passed away on Oct 22, 2004, from a medical accident. Colin was born with Congenital Heart Disease (CHD) and survived so much at a young age.

You will always be our sunshine. 

We will remember him forever.

I have a little son who means the world to me
He's living with the Angels and is as special as can be
And even though he's up there, playing in the clouds
He's still my precious little son and I am so very proud
His picture takes pride of place on my living room wall
Ready to be admired by all who come to call
I know I can not hold him, or bounce him on my knee
But only have to close my eyes, his little face to see
I never will stop missing him and wishing he was here
But sometimes I feel, indeed I know that he is very near
So play happily my little son, you will never be forgot
I love you so and always will, though I miss you such a lot . 

 Colins BIG heart! 





 Born July 8 2004, normal delivery. Born at 7:27 pm after hours of labor,(induced labor) 18 inches, and 7.2lbs.

Little brother to Owen Thomas, 2nd son to Sibahan and Cory Sanders. So cute with big blue eyes and light brown hair. Born at St. Mary Medical Ctr of Langhorne, PA

We were so happy to have the unexpected addition to our family. Owen loved to make his new brother laugh.

The morning Colin turned 10 days old (8 days home) We took him to the ER for what we thought was an allergic reaction to his new formula. Colin was up most of the night before, and was not eating normally. He would only drink about a half oz at a time and had an awful reflux problem. When Colin started to have a breathing problem that morning, we took him to the ER to get checked out. Doctors ripped him from Moms arms, and ran down the hall. They said we got him there just in time, he would probably have been dead in half hour.


Colin was stablized at St. Mary of Langhorne, and taken to Childrens Hospital of Philadelphia that afternoon for further testing. Colin was put on paralitics to make him not move or respond to anything. His heart was enlarged to the full capacity of his chest upon arrival. His heart was over working.

Later it was discoverd that Colin had serious heart disease. He stayed in the paralized state for 2 weeks until they could decide what to do with his condition. We were told that he had hope, and then did not, it was an emotional rollercoaster we never wanted to ride.

Colin underwent heart surgery on 7-30-04 to try and correct his heart problems. He had a Disfunctional Left Ventricle and had many problems with his valves, and narrowing of his arch, and of course, enlarged right side of his heart. These were the major problems. The Left Ventricle caused him not to be getting blood to the body. They thought he may have to have a transplant, but decided to experiment with a surgery they use to treat Hypoplastic left heart syndrome. This is when children are born with NO left ventricle. So this seemed like a good fix. Colin went home 6 weeks after being admitted, doing good.

Mom and Colin went for weekly checkups back to CHOP downtown Philadelphia. Colin seemed to be doing great, when his Oxygen sats were low on day. The doctor said she was going to schedule his Heart Cath that was routine before his 2nd of the 3 stage open heart surgery he had. This was supposed to be done the week before Thanksgiving.
Colin was admitted on 10-20-04 to have the Cath done first thing in the morning. He was taken in late because someone else had a cath done, and was having problems.


Colin came out of surgery and was put on a blood thinner to help keep his blood moving threw the heart. They found a small clot in his heart while doing the cath. This made them open it up, and have him on blood thinners until his next surgery was done. (prob just a few weeks)

5 hours after surgery, Colin passed out in my arms as i held him before going to bed for the night. He stopped breathing and passed out. The doctors and nurses rushed him the cath lab because they feared it was his heart. Later they discoved that he was bleeding in the abdomen badly. They took him to the OR to open and stop the bleeding. They found that his artery was torn during the Cath that day.

The next few hours were critical, the doctors worked frantic on him, he went threw a second trip to the ER at about 3 am that day, because he would not stop bleeding (thanks to the blood thinner) They decided to clamp off the artery that was bleeding, stopping the blood to the right leg. They said he may loose the leg later on that week. This was okay with me considering what he was already threw. They also were not able to fit all the organs in his abdomen again from the swelling (impact of the blood on the organs) of the organs and tissue. Thye said it was like a car accident, when you get hurt, your organs take impact. So they had a special "silo" over his bed with most of his intestines in the bag and some stomach contents.

The next night, Colin had a little trouble breathing, but seemed to recover with treatment. His little body held on that entire day, and went threw surgery on Friday to put in a line for IV access. When they went in his stomach again, they found that most of his organs were dead. His bowels were about 95% dead, not enough for any human to live with, and his liver was not working, and probably would not work again. His lungs showed signs of serious problems, and we were given the choice that no parent should have to make.

We were told that we could have Colin go threw sugery, and probably have only a 10% chance of living a few days, or not do anything. It was if he already made that decision for us, his blood pressure started to drop. We decided to let him go with the angels.

Friday 10-22-04, we let our little boy be carried off with the angles. Mom and Dad, held him close, as we let him go. Grandpop, MeeMom, Bubbie, Poppy, and Aunt Stacy, Uncle Frank, Aunt Colleen (dede), and Uncle Tim were all there to say goodbye. We each gave him a kiss and told him it was okay to leave. Irony was, Colins heart was strong, and kept going, even at the end.

Colin was laid to rest on 10-29, at WhiteMarsh Memorial Park in Ambler, PA. He was burried in a special place for Children only under 12 months old. This was called "lullaby land". It's beautiful there, and so peaceful.

Colin will be so missed by all of us, but he is and always will be our little sunshine. I know he is with the Angels in Heaven, and is happy and healthy like every little child should be.

Colin was taken too soon, but We are Thankful for every second that we had with him. Make sure to always cherish each second with your children, you never know when it will end.

We will always love you Colin, and i will not let you  be forgotten!


COLINS VIDEO- CHECK THIS OUT! GRAB SOME TISSUES!!! YOU WILL NEED THEM.
http://www.onetruemedia.com/shared?p=2195ffaea76642413ea91c&skin_id=0&utm_source=otm&utm_medium=text_url




Our Angel
http://www.carlasangels.com/my-sunshine-angel-pin.htm
I found this woman who made custom buttons for different occasions. Most of which were angels. I contacted her, and asked she make a pin for Colin. She did! So now we have our own link on her website, with a special pin for Colin. They are available to order, and i think they are rather cute! Especially since the woman read his story, and made it just for us, in his memory. Its even called My Sunshine Colin angel.
Angel Pin, My sunshine.


Click here to see Colin Sanders's
Family Tree
Tributes and Condolences
Happy 12th Birthday!   / Mommy
Another year- another date. I swear the older you get the more It feels like it was just the other day. There is no words that can make you be here. Nothing more than I can do. Just know that we love you so much. Your always with us, even in our new...  Continue >>
10th Birthday   / Mommy (Mom)
It was your tenth birthday this year. My heart aches for you just as much now, as it has for the last 9 years. I do not know where 10 years have gone. I feel like it was yesterday when I had you in my arms. I wish things didnt have to change, but lik...  Continue >>
9th Birthday   / Mommy (Mom)
Your 9th Birthday came and went. It was one of the most special birthdays we ever had for you. It was so impromptu. We were down the shore with your brother and sister, we released balloons with Aunt Stacy, Uncle Frank, Jared, and our friends the Han...  Continue >>
8Th Birthday   / Mommy
Your 8th Birthday was a little more than a week ago. I spend the week at the shore with your dad, brother and sister. I tried to write to you like i do each year, but my phone would just not let me! We had by far one of the BEST birthdays for you t...  Continue >>
First days of school   / Sibahan (Mommy)
I am sitting here at 8:30 the night before your brother and sister are starting school tomorrow. I am having such a hard time with the fact you are missing this year. I remember the year you would have started K we saw you as a butterfly with us. I v...  Continue >>
7th Birthday  / Mommy     Read >>
6th Birthday  / Mommy     Read >>
"Broken" / Mommy     Read >>
5th Birthday  / Mommy     Read >>
our trip  / Mommy (mom forever )    Read >>
Your 4th bday  / Mommy     Read >>
Thinking of you  / Suzanne Thompson (None (guest) )    Read >>
melanie.seese@grupom-cb.com / Melanie Seese     Read >>
Found a poem for you Sibahan... Grab the tissues first!  / Colleen Borton (Aunt (Dede) )    Read >>
Happy Birthday  / Christine Singer (friend of mommy )    Read >>
More tributes and condolences...
Click here to pay tribute or offer your condolences
His legacy
HELPFUL WEBSITES  

http://www.cafepress.com/chdfamilies  - for famlies dealing with CHD
http://www.aplacetoremember.com/aptrfront.html - A nice store and rememberance website
http://www.richremembrances.com - some very nice products to remember a child
http://www.heavenlylights.homestead.com/poetrybylaura.html - Beautiful poems
 http://www.heartsofcourage.com/chd.html - CHD website
http://www.chdinfo.com/chdaware/ - useful info on CHD's and more about them.
http://www.babyheartspress.com/  = chd website
http://tchin.org - CHD website. More about CHD awareness day
http://www.heartcenteronline.com- CHD site
http://www.congenitalheartdefects.com/stats.html- CHD site

Colins life  

Dear Friend
Author unknown

Go ahead and mention my child, the one that died, you know.

Don't worry about hurting me further, the depth of my pain doesn't show.

Don't worry about making me cry, I'm already crying inside.

Help me to heal by releasing the tears that I'm trying to hide.

I'm hurt when you just keep silent, pretending she didn't exist.

I'd rather you'd mention my child, knowing that she has been missed.

You asked me how I'm doing, I say "pretty good" or "fine",

but healing is something on-going, I feel like it will take a lifetime.

 

 

The mention of my child's name
Author unknown

"The mention of my child's name
May bring tears to my eyes,
But it never fails to bring
Music to my ears.

If you are really my friend,
Let me hear the beautiful music of her name.
It soothes my broken heart
And sings to my soul."

Please, don't ask me
Author: Rita Moran

Please, don't ask me if I'm over it yet
I'll never be over it
Please, don't tell me she's in a better place
She isn't with me
Please, don't say at least she isn't suffering
I haven't come to terms with why she had to suffer at all
Please, don't tell me you know how I feel
Unless you have lost a child
Please, don't ask me if I feel better
Bereavement isn't a condition that clears up
Please, don't tell me at least you had her for so many years
What year would you choose for your child to die?
Please, don't tell me God never gives us more than we can bear
Please, just tell me you are sorry
Please, just say you remember my child, if you do
Please, just let me talk about my child
Please, mention my child's name
Please, just let me cry.

Death Is

Death is nothing at all.
I have only slipped away into the next room.
I am I, and you are you.

Whatever we were to each other, that we still are.
Call me by my old familiar name,
speak to me in the easy way which you always used.
Put no difference in your tone,
with no forced air of solemnity or sorrow.
Laugh as we always laughed at the little jokes we enjoyed together.
Play, smile, think of me, pray for me.
Let my name be ever the household word that it always was,
let it be spoken without effort, without the trace of a shadow on it.

Life means all that it ever meant.
It is the same as it ever was; there is unbroken continuity.
Why should I be out of mind because I am out of sight?

 

 

COMFORTING THOUGHTS............--..  

Perhaps they are not the stars,
but rather openings in heaven where 
the love of our lost ones pour through
and shine down upon us to let us know
they are happy.

YOU ARE MY SUNSHINE - COLIN BRYAN  




You are my sunshine... my only sunshine.
You make me happy, when skies are gray,
You'll never know dear, how much I love you,
Please don't take my sunshine away.


I used to sing this to Colin when he was in the hospital, when he was first diagnosed with CHD. I sang this song over and over too him, because the nurse said that though he was not able to move, or respond, it was important that I talk to him, and let him know I was there. She suggested I sing to him, all I could think to hum, or sing was this song.  Problem was, when i started to sing, I listened to the words more deeply than I ever had before, then I realized that I was asking him please not too go.  This kind of became a "theme song" for me and Colin, when he was upset, I would talk to him, and sing this song.  This is just a fond memory I have of me and Colin now. I really wish i held him again in my arms, and as the song continues, (i had a dream i held you in my arms, then i woke and cried when i realized it was a dream) This is more true than I ever thought it would be. I often have dreams of Colin, and wish he was here. Usually of holding him one last time, and remembering how special he was to us.

Colin was put here to teach all of us a lesson. As they say, "god will keep you here long enough for your job" Colins job was finished. He taughted all of us about love, life, family, and things we all take for granted. Colin taught us more people in his short 3 months, than we could have taught him in a LIFETIME!  Learn from Colins' teachings. 

More of his legacy...
 
Colin's Photo Album
Baby Boy Colin - March 10 2004 ultrasound - normal outcome (as we all thought)
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